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it is nice to have an end in every journey...
but at the end...
it is the journey that really matters...
-anonymous-




Wednesday, September 07, 2005
Here we go again...


Wow... doing non job-related is so FUN! Check this out, it's surprisingly quite true!!

Your Birthdate: November 14
With a birthday on the 14th of the month (5 energy) you are inclined to work well with people and enjoy them. You are talented and versatile, very good at presenting ideas, and you are also very good at organization and systematizing. You may have a tendency to get itchy feet at times and need change and travel. You tend to be very progressive, imaginative and adaptable. Your mind is quick, clever and analytical. A restlessness in your nature may make you a bit impatient and easily bored with routine, and rebel against it. You have a tendency to shirk responsibility.

Posted at 05:18 pm by makka
what say you ??  

Test-ing time!


See how lazy I am today? :P

Your Hidden Talent
Your natural talent is interpersonal relations and dealing with people. You communicate well and are able to bring disparate groups together. Your calming presence helps everything go more smoothly. People crave your praise and complements.

Posted at 12:34 pm by makka
what say you ??  

Lazy Donkey...


 

I’m supposed to do a lot of things today. There are so many pending jobs I need to get it done by say… yesterday. But right now, I’m feeling too lazy to do anything work-related. I think because lately I wake up always late, and it affects my mood and of course: fitness. I need to go out and do some sport or workout. “Gosh… how lazy can you be?” My wife use to ask me that and my answer is always: “This lazy”.

 

I need to start waking up very early in the morning nowadays if I don’t want it to worsen my mood. I noticed that there’s really a strong correlation between waking up early and having a good mood all day long. Guess the proverb early birds get the worm’ is true then. So let’s do it! Tomorrow I’ll try to wake up early and play some Xbox before going to the office. =)


Posted at 12:06 pm by makka
what say you ?? (2)  




Monday, September 05, 2005
Color-blinded me...


I’m quite in a good mood now. Having a 20 days vacation -21 actually- really tuned my mood good enough to go back facing life again in Yangon. I wanted to update my blog several times, but afraid by seeing so many red words, swearing, and exclamation marks will affect my mood, I cancel it right away.

 

Funny if I see my own writing, those previous months passed as if I didn’t appreciate a single day of it. All I did was cursing and complaining about all things I can complain about. I’m feeling of deleting all of my previous posts and start a new, nice and happy story about my life. Then again, that wasn’t the case. You cannot delete your past just like that. But if you see me doing that, forgive me, that’s just me being myself.  I tend to keep my past and all of the experiences in it just for me, in what others see as ‘forgetting’. And sometimes people see me as a cold heartless person, which I don’t’ blame them, and I accept it unquestioningly. (Is there such a word ‘unquestioningly’?)

 

Ok, back to my surprisingly good mood which I don’t know when it will last (probably until 5.30 pm today). All I can think before we went on vacation was planning to go here and there, longing for the sight of the famous M-curve of McDonald’s fast food restaurants, and visiting my family and friends. And we wanted to make sure we’re going to make use of this and have a really good time back in Jakarta. And then we did, we really did have a good time in Jakarta!

 

But believe it or not, after staying in the hectic Jakarta for awhile, surprisingly to us, we both missed Yangon and wanted to go back here. We felt something's missing while we’re in Jakarta, suddenly the M-curve was not that intriguing anymore, the floor of shopping malls wasn’t that glittering, and movies? What movies?? (I can say that now because we bought approximately 60 DVD titles! Hahaha!!)

 

So where’s that urge to get out from Yangon gone to? Maybe it's because of the traffic (even on vacation half of your time spent on the road everyday), or maybe because we're staying at my in-law’s (very different experience in staying just the two of us in Myanmar). =)

 

It really caught us unguarded. Especially when you had experience something like this: From Yangon, we stayed for 3 days in Singapore. And right after we’re in the taxi on the way to the hotel, while seeing the buildings I said to myself, “Have I recovered from color-blinded? What are those colors I’ve never seen in Yangon??”

 

Surely I realize now that it was really an understatement. It’s true that in Yangon you cannot see all the wonderful colors on its surroundings like in Singapore or Jakarta. But now, only in Yangon, I can see more clearly the colors of my life.

 

Hope I don’t get ‘color-blinded’ anymore, at least not soon.



Posted at 05:35 pm by makka
what say you ??  




Thursday, August 11, 2005
Vacation time...


See you in Jakarta!!!

Posted at 04:33 pm by makka
what say you ?? (1)  




Wednesday, August 03, 2005
Quitting?

I'm thinking of resigning from this company...

 

Well actually the thought already occurred to me for this last two years. It’s kinda weird though, why I still even think of that in here? It’s everything I wanted before: bigger responsibilities, overseas exposure, and of course, bigger bucks (not THAT big actually). Although frankly I’m feeling a bit like that cow transferred to Algeria -mistakenly alleged for a horse-, but that’s ok, I’m not going to die of a heart attack (insya Allah)  and my retire day is not due in near future. So why is it then? Is it because I don’t love my job? Don’t you have to find what you love? Is it because other things which have nothing to do at all with my job? Or is it because ‘a little bit of this and a little bit of that’?

 

One cannot answer all the questions in the world, can we?


Posted at 04:55 pm by makka
what say you ??  

My company's ideology...


It's almost 4 in the morning... and I think we make some progress here, who knows it turns out good at the end of the day... *positive thinking*

Well anyway... here's a joke about our company sent by my friend from somewhere in the middle of African desert :P don't know where he got this in the first place:

Communism
You have two cows. The villagers share the cost of upkeep and split the milk between them.
 
Dictatorship
You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.
 
Facism
You have two cows. The state confiscate the cows, makes the villagers do all the work then sells them the milk.
 
Democracy
You have two cows. Your neighbours decide who gets the milk.
 
Naziism
You have two cows. The state confiscates the cows, shoots them, then shoots the villagers.
 
Capitalism
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
 
[my-company-name-here]ism
You have two cows. Make them to do the work of four cows until one drops dead of a heart attack. Act shocked and ask the other cow why 2 cows were needed in the first place as it's obvious that one can do the work. Then, transfer the cow to Algeria to do the work of a horse, but tell the client that it IS a horse, not a cow, and is a very experienced horse which has been employed as a horse for many years. Charge a lot of money for the cow and pay the cow nothing. Lose the cow's furniture. Just before the cow is due to retire, lay it off.

HAHAHAHA!!! nice one, Bro! Reminded me how lucky we are working in this company! Soooo DOG-GAMN TRUE!


Posted at 04:00 am by makka
what say you ??  




Monday, July 18, 2005
Feeling sick...

Today is a very ineffective day… I caught flu and it’s getting worse by hours, the thought of 2 holidays in a row (two days ahead are national holidays for Burmese), and feeling too weak to do anything right now. make it even worse...

 

But I still can find strength to write a blog I guess... =)


Thanks to my wife, I got hooked with this writing thing. And for the return, I got her hooked with golf as well! Hahaha! I’m very glad I did that. It’s fun to see her interested with it. Especially when she practices her swing in our room! Tell you guys, she’s going with me to the fairways in no time!


Posted at 12:12 pm by makka
what say you ?? (1)  




Saturday, July 16, 2005
You've got to find what you love


You've got to find what you love...

For us who are still searching for our own so-called Dream Job...

In his Commencement address, Apple and Pixar CEO Steve Jobs urged Stanford graduates to follow their hearts. A pancreatic cancer survivor, he told the Class of '05, "Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma, which is living with the results of other people's thinking."


Here is the complete one...


This is the text of the Commencement address by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, delivered on June 12, 2005

I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories.

The first story is about connecting the dots.

I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?

It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course." My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduatedfrom college and that my father had never graduated from high school.She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months  later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.

And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.

It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:

Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided
to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great
typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating.

None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, its likely that no personal computer
would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.

Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something -your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.


My second story is about love and loss.

I was lucky - I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents’ garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation - the Macintosh - a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.

I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me - I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.

I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I retuned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.

I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it.

Don't settle.


My third story is about death.

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything - all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.

I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I'm fine now.

This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope it’s the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.

Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish."

It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

Thank you all very much.


Posted at 03:01 pm by makka
what say you ??  




Thursday, July 14, 2005
The price of a smile

I’m in the middle of my period now. Yup, I have a period like all people do, the period of monotony, of dullness, of BOREDOM! Analyzing my past working experience up until now, I come to acknowledge my greatest weakness at work: I get easily BORED!

 

You know when you get bored all things suddenly don’t feel right? Clients got too demanding, your reports ask too much silly questions, and finally… you don’t feel the challenge anymore... and if that’s the case, you will get demotivated. And that’s the last thing your company ever wanted, a bunch of demotivated employees. Oh yes, demotivation tends to spread to others, combine it with a disgruntled employee and you have the perfect recipe for success. (this isn’t the case now, though)

 

The good thing about acknowledging your weakness is, you also try to find ways to overcome it. Or at least, make it less visible. For me, I find it rather simple (Thank God). I look back to what I have until now, and try as much as I can to be grateful. Lucky for me, it’s so much easier to do now, since I have with me a wife to be grateful for.

 

It’s not that I’m not thankful for my work now, I AM. But now, she’s the one who makes me always ‘reminded’ to be grateful. Can you imagine having someone who gave up her everything? I mean, EVERYTHING! Family, career, friends, social life, and of course: ENTERTAINMENT! Yes entertainment, which as a matter of fact this place kinda lacks of it. Especially when you’re movie-goers like us, you’ll appreciate very much living in Jakarta, with all the easy access for its entertainment and glamorous life-style! (to give you some ideas, the most advance cinema in here, is actually a theater-like chamber, with a piece of white sheet hanging for the projector to shoot, and oh yes… did I mention before? It’s considered most advance in town because it’s the only cinema equipped with air con! Well it’s a big chamber! And that’s gotta be a helluva air con!).

 

Anyway, imagine the dullness she must face everyday. It’s double worse than mine! But yet, she still survives and comforts me. You know… every time I get home, just listening to her little steps and seeing her smile when she opens the door, that’s when I say to myself: I’m the luckiest man alive…

 

Thanks for the smile, Dek…

 


Posted at 05:36 pm by makka
what say you ?? (3)  




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An Indonesian,
wandering this journey with beloved wife (and a daughter!)
trying to find 'The Way' and be a way for others…


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People who shape me...

My Alter Ego
My Wonderful Wife - Anita
My Thoughtful Brother - Avin
My Blessed Sister - Diah
The Multitasking Mom - Listi
The Wiz - Kevin
The Faithful - Robin
The Observer - Wisnu
The Freek - Himawan
The Mentor - Novel


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King Cobra COMP-3
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Support the Open Source Community!
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Footsteps of past journey...

Music that surrounds me…
Death…
Here we go again…
Test-ing time!…
Lazy Donkey…
Color-blinded me...
Vacation time...
Quitting?
My company's ideology...
Rainy day...
When SHIT hits the fan!!
Feeling sick...
You've got to find what you love
The price of a smile
Learning how to be grateful
Another day, another buck!
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