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it is nice to have an end in every journey...
but at the end...
it is the journey that really matters...
-anonymous-




Monday, July 18, 2005
Feeling sick...

Today is a very ineffective day… I caught flu and it’s getting worse by hours, the thought of 2 holidays in a row (two days ahead are national holidays for Burmese), and feeling too weak to do anything right now. make it even worse...

 

But I still can find strength to write a blog I guess... =)


Thanks to my wife, I got hooked with this writing thing. And for the return, I got her hooked with golf as well! Hahaha! I’m very glad I did that. It’s fun to see her interested with it. Especially when she practices her swing in our room! Tell you guys, she’s going with me to the fairways in no time!


Posted at 12:12 pm by makka
what say you ?? (1)  




Saturday, July 16, 2005
You've got to find what you love


You've got to find what you love...

For us who are still searching for our own so-called Dream Job...

In his Commencement address, Apple and Pixar CEO Steve Jobs urged Stanford graduates to follow their hearts. A pancreatic cancer survivor, he told the Class of '05, "Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma, which is living with the results of other people's thinking."


Here is the complete one...


This is the text of the Commencement address by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, delivered on June 12, 2005

I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories.

The first story is about connecting the dots.

I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?

It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course." My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduatedfrom college and that my father had never graduated from high school.She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months  later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.

And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.

It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:

Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided
to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great
typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating.

None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, its likely that no personal computer
would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.

Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something -your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.


My second story is about love and loss.

I was lucky - I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents’ garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation - the Macintosh - a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.

I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me - I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.

I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I retuned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.

I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it.

Don't settle.


My third story is about death.

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything - all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.

I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I'm fine now.

This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope it’s the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.

Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish."

It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

Thank you all very much.


Posted at 03:01 pm by makka
what say you ??  




Thursday, July 14, 2005
The price of a smile

I’m in the middle of my period now. Yup, I have a period like all people do, the period of monotony, of dullness, of BOREDOM! Analyzing my past working experience up until now, I come to acknowledge my greatest weakness at work: I get easily BORED!

 

You know when you get bored all things suddenly don’t feel right? Clients got too demanding, your reports ask too much silly questions, and finally… you don’t feel the challenge anymore... and if that’s the case, you will get demotivated. And that’s the last thing your company ever wanted, a bunch of demotivated employees. Oh yes, demotivation tends to spread to others, combine it with a disgruntled employee and you have the perfect recipe for success. (this isn’t the case now, though)

 

The good thing about acknowledging your weakness is, you also try to find ways to overcome it. Or at least, make it less visible. For me, I find it rather simple (Thank God). I look back to what I have until now, and try as much as I can to be grateful. Lucky for me, it’s so much easier to do now, since I have with me a wife to be grateful for.

 

It’s not that I’m not thankful for my work now, I AM. But now, she’s the one who makes me always ‘reminded’ to be grateful. Can you imagine having someone who gave up her everything? I mean, EVERYTHING! Family, career, friends, social life, and of course: ENTERTAINMENT! Yes entertainment, which as a matter of fact this place kinda lacks of it. Especially when you’re movie-goers like us, you’ll appreciate very much living in Jakarta, with all the easy access for its entertainment and glamorous life-style! (to give you some ideas, the most advance cinema in here, is actually a theater-like chamber, with a piece of white sheet hanging for the projector to shoot, and oh yes… did I mention before? It’s considered most advance in town because it’s the only cinema equipped with air con! Well it’s a big chamber! And that’s gotta be a helluva air con!).

 

Anyway, imagine the dullness she must face everyday. It’s double worse than mine! But yet, she still survives and comforts me. You know… every time I get home, just listening to her little steps and seeing her smile when she opens the door, that’s when I say to myself: I’m the luckiest man alive…

 

Thanks for the smile, Dek…

 


Posted at 05:36 pm by makka
what say you ?? (3)  




Tuesday, July 12, 2005
Another day, another buck!

Can’t believe I’m doing this. Of all the things I’ve been paid to do, this is exactly not in my job description! You see, I work in a service company, and like all the service companies in this universe, its employee must fully serve the clients where they are based at, instead of writing a blog! And I, (un)fortunately am based at a client in Yangon, Myanmar. Don’t get me wrong, this is good for my career (at least that’s what my wife said to cheer me up) and people I work with here are very nice as well. It is just today, my workload somehow seems to readjust with my new activity - writing a blog. Hahaha! I know maybe tomorrow, I won’t get the same luxury as today. So here I am, editing my blog layout and writing for some more! Thanks to my wife, I remember how it feels to write again (since 10 years old! Go figure).

 

So let me tell you about how I ended up working in this city. As I said earlier, I work in a service company, a multi-national one if I may add. You might get the impression that I’m proud working in this company. But hey! That’s another different story! Hahaha! Anyway… it’s back in last year, when I had a project with a different client here in Yangon. One of the line managers here somehow was impressed by my work back then, or was it? Well… here I am now, based on his recommendation, got transferred from the hectic world of Jakarta to this ‘peaceful’ city of Yangon, to fill up one vacant position left by someone who was granted a green card to Australia. Wait! Hmm… that’s it! I know now why I’m here!

 

Well… anyway… it’s 90 minutes to call it a day (hopefully)… and of course… Another day, another buck!


Posted at 05:14 pm by makka
what say you ?? (1)  

Learning how to be grateful

Told you I’m not a good writer! Here I am staring blankly at my screen, don’t know anything to write.  The funny thing when your mind is in a state like this is you’re starting to collect little thoughts that you think you already forget. At least that’s what happening to me now.

 

Last year, most of my team members lost our job. Thanks to a client who thought they can cheat high performance with a lower price. Ha! That happens only once in a blue moon! Anyway, that’s another story… What I think of now is how each person copes up with it differently.  Some just trying to save their fussing ass and did the old art of suck-up kiss-ass, some as if had lost their willing to work, while others accepted the facts positively, trying to enjoy as much as they can whilst the expulsion date was creeping near.

 

As for myself, I’m one of those guys who lost their willing to work. Well… come to think of it, I’ve lost it many years ago when I started to work on this client! Hahaha! Anyway… no matter how ugly your life throws at you, the world does not stop for your grief. The thing is, there’s got to be some meaning hidden in every single event of your life. You just have to dig it up, and interpret it for yourself. And of course, it is easier said than done.

 

My life has gone through some rapid changes recently. From the fact that I almost lost my job (yes, somehow I slipped out of that), married someone I love very much (this is of course another story), to being here, in the middle of nowhere. This place doesn’t even come up on your weather report! Gee… talk about changing life and scenery. But surprisingly, this is the place where I can look back to my life more clearly and interpret some (if not little) part of meaning that God has it in store for me.

 

You know what is the easiest thing to do in this life? It is being ungrateful. You can do it well even without knowing you’re currently doing it (Hey, that’s a rhyme!). Well, I think I babble enough this time, got to do the things I should do (in the first place) on this chair.

 

But thought I got one thing from this gibberish! Knowing you’re ungrateful is the first step to learn how to be grateful. That’s another rhyme! Hahaha!


Posted at 01:00 pm by makka
what say you ??  




Sunday, July 10, 2005
Disclaimer

Yes, this is a Disclaimer. For those of you who already know me, it could be a surprise. Having a blog is the last thing in my mind. I am not a good writer, let alone my poor English. I remember the last time I actually ‘write’ when I was 10 years old or something. It was then when I represent my school in a writing competition held in my hometown, and the result was... – well you should’ve guessed -   . So mind you, my blog will be everything blurting from this head, the words will be rude, weird, cheap, sympathetic, sarcastic or even inspiring to some of you, hopefully…


I write this for my lovely wife. For whom I go through this journey with…


Posted at 02:44 pm by makka
what say you ??  





An Indonesian,
wandering this journey with beloved wife (and a daughter!)
trying to find 'The Way' and be a way for others…


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People who shape me...

My Alter Ego
My Wonderful Wife - Anita
My Thoughtful Brother - Avin
My Blessed Sister - Diah
The Multitasking Mom - Listi
The Wiz - Kevin
The Faithful - Robin
The Observer - Wisnu
The Freek - Himawan
The Mentor - Novel


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Footsteps of past journey...

Music that surrounds me…
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Quitting?
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Rainy day...
When SHIT hits the fan!!
Feeling sick...
You've got to find what you love
The price of a smile
Learning how to be grateful
Another day, another buck!
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